A Cultural Misunderstanding?

Today was wierd. I was in my shodo class (Japanese calligraphy) and the Sensei (teacher) was writing out the kanji (word) I was going to do today. He wrote it for me then turned to leave. "Wait!" I thought, "You didn't write the stroke order! Come back!" I did some fast thinking and said in Japanese "Chotto motte!" which literally means a little bit stop. I meant to say "Don't leave yet!" He turned around and laughed. I KNOW "Chotto motte" means wait just a second. I use it every day when I talk to my little host sis, and she uses it with me and with Okaasan. How could he be laughing? At first, I thought he heard me wrong, but then I realized that everyone at my table was laughing. In fact, within moments, the whole class was laughing. I don't mind being laughed at, but it was a little frustrating that I was using a perfectly standard phrase and they were pretty much telling me I was wrong. My Sensei asked me who taught me the phrase and I said I wasn't sure, I just heard it a lot. He told me the stroke order I wanted and walked away. My friend told me I shouldn't say that to teachers. I left off the "please." What?! All that fuss because I didn't say "please"? I laughed and apologized to my teacher (impolitely, I later learned), thanked him for the stroke order (impolitely, I later learned), and went to work, thinking the ordeal was over. Only, he didn't say anything to me the whole class, whereas he is usually hovering over me telling me everything I'm doing is wrong and helping me to do it right. Either my shodo suddenly got really good or I offended him. Later, I overheard one of my friends saying that he was angry with me. I had no idea that he was angry. He was laughing for goodness sakes. What's the big deal?

So there are some lessons to be gleaned from this. Just because I know a word doesn't mean I know how to use it. The Japanese are really really big on politeness, especially when it's a student-teacher relationship. While I have many privilages as a foreigner, forgetting to say "please" isn't one of them. The Japanese are really wierd about showing anger. But, I was the only that didn't pick up on his anger, so it's possible (probable) that they aren't so wierd and I just don't know the signs to look for. NEVER give a teacher a direct order, such as "Wait just a second." They're really big on being indirect and subtle. Double check the Japanese you learn from a 7 year-old. I need to get really really comfortable with the polite form of verbs and other words.

Also, there have been teachers at the front gate of school every morning this week checking uniforms. It's really intimidating. They all scowl and stomp their feet and make kids get off their bikes so they can be inspected. It's intense. At the stop light before school, all the kids were adjusting their ties and straightening their socks. Nobody had rolled up skirts. And lo and behold, not a thing was said to me except "Good morning!" (in english) . Wierd, eh? I won't complain though. I told my host mom and she said it's because my uniform was perfect, but I had my doubts. They pick on everyone but me, and I've escaped them every day this week, which is unheard of. My theory is that nobody wants to have to be the one to speak English to the poor little gaijin. My host mom agrees with this theory and claims I'm pretty lucky. Sweet.

And my kendo instructor is really great. He makes sure I speak politely to him, but he doesn't get angry about it when I mess up (at least, I didn't think he does, but maybe...). The first time I saw him in the halls I smiled and said "Ohaiyoo!" really cheerfully. He shook his head and explained to me that was a very rude way to greet teachers and told me very carefully how I should greet him in the future. And then, he goes out of his way to say good morning to me just to make sure I say it right back to him. I'm grateful. He gave me a list of terms that I should know for kendo and takes me aside every class to see how I'm doing. He's not of afraid of the language barrier, like I suspect some of the club members are, and corrects me frequently. Yesterday, one of the kids said that he really likes me. Haha, she said I'm his favorite. In the States, that's not such a good thing. Here, I don't know. I'll take it if it means I'll get lots of help.

I can handle the language. I can even deal with the huge grammatical changes. I feel like I'm doing well - today I aced a quiz my Japanese teachers made for me. It's not anything that studying and trying can't manage. But the culture... I'm more confident that I'll be semi-fluent in Japanese than in the culture. Everything is different. People expect different things from me here than they did in the States. It's obvious, but sometimes I forget it. Sometimes, I almost get comfortable with my life, and then days like today jolt me awake and remind me to be wary and observent. Haven't Tara and Scott taught me anything? If you let your gaurd down, you're going to get punched in the face sooner or later. Sooner, usually. That's a lesson I've already learned too many times.