Woah! Japan?!?!j

What is wrong, they say. What are you afraid of? Aren't you freaking out? No! I'm not. I'm thrilled with this opportunity and I can't find it in me to be afraid. What have I to fear anyways? The language barrier, of course. I won't be able to communicate with anyone at school or home or anything. Nobody will like me because I'll say all the wrong things and dress the wrong way. But trying has never failed me before. I'll practice the language and deal with being strange. Of all the countries to be different in, Japan is actually probably the best, despite what stereotypes might say. The Japanese people act almost awed by their gaijin (foreigners) and either humor them, or ignore them. At least, so far as I can tell. Maybe everyone will hate me and I won't make any friends all year long and I'll even come home early because I will be so homesick and lonely. But maybe not. Probably not.

The only thing I can really think to be afraid of is myself. I am going to change so much, become someone so different that maybe I won't even recognize myself. Internal struggles are always the worst kind as a rule, and I'm going to undergo something that's going to have a radical impact on me, I'm sure. And how can I help but be excited about that??!! I'm going to change! To get better! I like myself - love myself even, but how exciting to know that I'm going to understand so much more (and thus so much less, my dad would remind me) in a year from now. I'm not worried that my family or friends won't like me when I get back as much as I'm worried that I might not like me. But holy cow! This is it! This is the last time I'll be this Heather forever. I'll come home someone different. I'm excited and eager, but nervous and afraid at the same time.