If my school in America had insisted I wear a school uniform, I would have vehemently protested. I would have hated it. I would have done little things, like wrinkle my socks on purpose or tie my tie wrong just to assure myself that I am not completely powerless. I felt degraded enough when they made the dress code my Sophmore year. Not because they were telling me to change what I was wearing (my wardrobe didn't change at all due to the dress code), but because I hated that they were telling me I was too young and immature to pick out my own clothes. I felt that if people wanted to wear really low cut shirts to school, why not let them? It's their own choice and if anything, it's important that we learn to make these kind of choices before we hit college.
And now I'm in Japan, obediently donning the uniform of a high school student, taking out all my earrings before school, and hiding the pony-tail holder wrapped around my wrist under my school sweater. I make sure my shirt is not wrinkled and constantly tug my socks up in the train, hoping that they won't slide down between the station and school (there really is an art to wearing long socks without having them roll down). When I pass a teacher in the hall, I give a small bow and during assemblies, I sit up as straight as I can and hope the sit-up-straight-and-fix-your-tie patrol won't see me. If there was such a patrol in my school in America, I would absolutely slouch and undo my tie just out annoyance and indignance that such a patrol exists. I know, some rebel I make undoing my tie and *gasp* slouching.
The truth is I don't hate Japanese school uniforms and I don't really mind the discipliners either. It's hard to explain this to someone who's never been in a Japanese school. My school particularly is big on discipline and nobody rolls up their skirts or dies their hair (telltale signs of a rebel). It's not as degrading as I thought it might be. In fact, it's almost the opposite of degrading (grading? undegrading?) in how sharp-looking they are. No sexy. No hot. Makeup is a huge no-no as is jewlery and perms. They really check too. Nobody thinks to complain that businessmen (American) have to wear suits and ties to work. It's professional looking. It gives the air (as in auro) of confidence, trustworthiness, focus, intelligence, and someone in control of his surroundings. In karate, we wear a uniform for tradition's sake, practicality, that sharpness and in controlness, a sense of uniformity and thus team-liness, and so wardrobe isn't a concern. Certainly nobody protests to work suits (at least, I don't think they do). Well, okay, Dad does try to get away with ripped up Bob Marley shirts when he can get away with it, but even he dons the suit when he needs to. Every male older than 5 in the US has probably worn a suit at least once. Because it looks sharp. It feels sharp. And face, little boys are adorable in suits.
School is one of the most important undertakings in a person's life. It almost seems a mockery to run around in jeans or pajamas or shorts that pass as underwear. Just how important is creativity and independence? I can't believe it's me thinking that. I think my school and most Japanese schools in general go way overboard with the concept of uniformity, but their something we could learn from them.
I really love that sex is not an aspect in Japanese schools. Nobody dresses to impress. Back in September, I was sympathizing with a fellow exchange student, who complained that she wished she could dress nicely, at least for herself. I agreed. Now I take pride in my uniform. I feel sharp. I look clean in it (ironic, seeing as I wear it every day), feel more capable even. It's not that I was particularly self-conscious about my style in the States. I love shopping and picking out clothes. I found it a fun part of my daily routine. But I've sold my soul to the plaid skirt and slidy socks and it feels good. Instead of degraded, I feel more dignified and that other people are more willing to take me serioiusly. The school demands that we take each other seriously via uniforms. In the beginning, I felt it a little uncomfortable (to point of scary) not to be able to put myself forward by my clothes. On the first day of school, I couldn't tell everyone if I was goth or artsy or hippy or preppy or jock. Of course, American high school students all hate those labels, but we use them even on ourselves and I think we even take comfort in being able to define ourselves in such a simple and obvious way as clothes. Our appearance is the first impression we give, and thus everyone tries to put as much personality into their appearance as they can (at least in high school). For example, I dressed like the artsy kids. I wanted people to know that I consider myself creative and fun, but maybe a little socially akward. I instinctively avoided the kids who wore all black and white makeup because we generally don't have a lot in common. I am judgemental, but really I only take what people expect me to take when they put the clothes on. They define themselves and I read the definition.
Japanese uniforms aren't good because you can't judge other people, rather you can't define yourself so simply. You are forced to put personality on the table before other people can define you. I found it uncomfortable not to be able to tell everyone right off the bat who I am and what kind of values I hold. But I've found that when I'm not wearing the mask of my daily clothes, people define me differently than I ever would have. If I was the nerdy kind that wanted nerdy friends, I would have to find more creative ways to let everyone know that. In the process of advertising myself, people would learn about my personality along the way. And maybe I would make friends that weren't nerdy and learn that I wasn't as nerdy as I thought.
And there's the self-respect that comes from not constantly trying to impress the guys. I can't wear shirts that show off my breasts or feel good about hairless legs. Of course it feels good to be attractive and sometimes I miss being able to look really great, but it feels even better to be confident about my appearance on a day-to-day basis.
Of course this Japan and Japan will always be different from the States. Makeup will never leave high schools in America and I'm not even sure if it should. We have different values in the States that aren't bad values (decision making, creativity, individuality), but contradict the values that school uniforms represent. It's hard to compare or say which is better because they're different places that care about different things. Japan, a nearly homogenous society, doesn't want to leave anyone behind. The wealth distribution is much more even here in Japan (ironically I'm richer here than I'll probably ever be again - yeah Rotary!) and they want to take care of everyone. It's obvious that school uniforms are both a representation of that value, and the way to promote that value. Thus school uniforms are obviously the way to go. But Japanese students have a hard time making decisions by themselves. They virtually never raise their hand in class, even (especially) when the teacher asks a question. In America, it's important to be at the top of something. If you know the answer, you should raise your hand. If you're the prettiest, you're going to be more successful. If you're the smartest or the most athletic, you have a great chance of getting into school. We actually have different levels of math in high school. Thus a smart Freshman can be in the same math class as a Senior. From that point of view, school uniforms are hindersome and backwards.
I wish I could explain it better. I wish I could take you to school and put you in a uniform and let you know what it's like to be one a group, let you feel everything, from the stern glare of the teachers checking uniforms to the solidarity of standing and bowing as a group before every class. I wish you feel what it's like to address teachers politely and to bow to neighbors in the street. It's so different. Not overwhelmingly different like it was before, and not bad or scary or annoying like it was before. Different. Just different. Everything makes more sense than it did before, and while I loved Japan a month ago, now my love has grown to a deeper respect, and of course, the excitement is still here
A lot of the things I really love about Japan just wouldn't work in the States. The significance would be lost and the culture just wouldn't translate (do you know that the U.S. has a culture? Of it's own? It's not just a hosh-posh of borrowed lands, like I had thought of it before. We have our very own values). This is both an exciting and dissapointing discovery. How can I use this experience if in the end, it boils down to a difference in mindsets? I had expected to find some things that work better in Japan, but all I'm finding are differences. Is that it then? Learn the differences, study the culture, and then go home empty-handed? Nothing to offer the Rotarians who sent me here, or my family and friends and you readers. I didn't expect to change the world, but I was counting on some insight on ways to go about it should I ever choose to.
On the other hand, it's really really exciting to learn that this culture goes way beyond chopsticks and bowing. Every minute is a learning opportunity. I'm surrounded by it. Imagine! Everyone actually holds different ideas of what's right than what I've been taught. Even smart people I respect think differently. One of the reasons I don't think english or any language will ever become completely universal is because there is so much culture hidden in the language. What does it tell you that the Japanese have like eight different ways to say please? Or that instead of saying "Good luck!" before an important event, they say "Work hard!"
Things are going well. Tomorrow is New Year's Eve. My little brother's birthday, only America is a day behind.
Saturday, December 30, 2006
Friday, December 29, 2006
I'm sooooo tired....
Yesterday evening, I went out with my host sister for a year-ending-forgetting party, where you drink away the year's problems and prepare to start fresh. Everything's about starting fresh these days. It seems that every preparation we make is to end the year and start a completely different, new year. One not hindered by the mistakes of this year. I'm game.
The party was a lot of fun. The kids were aged 26-32 years old. I would never have called someone that much older than me a kid before I stayed with this family. I feel like Japanese thirty year-olds are much closer in age to me than Japanese 16 year-olds (who I have class with). I don't know if they're any more immature than American 30 year-olds, but I really enjoyed myself. They thought I was freaking adorable. In the elevator, I introduced myself to everyone and someone said "Kawaii!!!" (Cuuute!!!!) Everyone in the elevator agreed. I chuckled and said thanks and everyone was really surprised. "You understood that?!" Yes. I've been here for a little over four months! Come on now. Actually, I met one really interesting guy. He was born in New Jersey and lived there until he was 9, when he moved to Japan with his Japanese parents. After three years, he said he forgot all English he had known until he went to England, where he lived for maybe three years. He got fluent in English pretty fast, but spoke it with a British accent. He went to college and got a degree in international studies, where he interacted with a lot of Americans. He said he was a little embarassed to tell people he had an American nationality with his British accent and Japanese parents. Personally, I think that's awesome. So the point is, his English was beyond perfect. I didn't even know it until a few hours into the party. He told me that he's hosted many many exchange students and he's never heard anyone pick up the language so fast. And he told me that when he heard me say I haven't been studying for very long, he assumed that was just Japanese modesty and that I've been studying for around five years or something. Sweet! What a nice compliment! It made me feel pretty good. He asked me what was my motivation, as I've already graduated high school and have no intention of majoring in Japanese when I'm in college. What's my motivation?! Every time I have to ask someone to repeat what they said, I'm a little more motivated to study. Every time I start drooling in class because the teacher is talking to fast for me to understand, I'm a little more motivated. Every time I am frustrated that I can't get somewhere by myself because I can't read kanji, I'm a little more motivated. Motivation is surrounding me. I told him that I have no intention of coming out of this fluent in Japanese, but seeing as I only have a year, I'd like to get as much down as possible. The idea of a language is exciting. He hinted that fluency might not be impossible at this rate.
Personally, I'm pretty sure I won't be fluent. But I will be able to understand most everything I hear. And hopefully, I'll be able to read a little too. I'll be happy if I can talk with ease, without stopping and thinking as I'm talking. I don't want to set unrealistic goals, but I don't want to sell myself short either. But actually, I don't even need to make any long term goals. What I'm doing now seems to be working just fine (studying and listening).
Anyways, the party was fun. Everyone was drunk by midnight (except me of course) and after the party, we went to a bar and drank more (except me of course) at this amazing place that had a six-page menu consisting of different kinds of alcoholic beverages (and orange juice) and cheezy french fries. We finished around 3:00 AM, but the trains weren't running until 5:00, so we searched Osaka for a place to socialize (read: sleep!) for the next two hours. We finally found ourselves in a karaoke bar and everyone stretched out on the benches and fell asleep. I returned home around 6:45, went to sleep, and woke up around 9:30 for my hair cut. It was the most expensive hair cut I've ever gotten in my entire life. It was around $50 and included a shampoo, cut, and style. Same as what I usually get in the States for around $15. Actually, it's a really nice cut and I highly recommend coming to Japan to get your hair cut! It's the best cut I've ever got, and he even showed me how to style it. The longest layer goes to my shoulders and the shortest just above my chin. Very chic. I'm pleased with it.
So I went home, ate curry udon, and will now finally sleep. Good night.
The party was a lot of fun. The kids were aged 26-32 years old. I would never have called someone that much older than me a kid before I stayed with this family. I feel like Japanese thirty year-olds are much closer in age to me than Japanese 16 year-olds (who I have class with). I don't know if they're any more immature than American 30 year-olds, but I really enjoyed myself. They thought I was freaking adorable. In the elevator, I introduced myself to everyone and someone said "Kawaii!!!" (Cuuute!!!!) Everyone in the elevator agreed. I chuckled and said thanks and everyone was really surprised. "You understood that?!" Yes. I've been here for a little over four months! Come on now. Actually, I met one really interesting guy. He was born in New Jersey and lived there until he was 9, when he moved to Japan with his Japanese parents. After three years, he said he forgot all English he had known until he went to England, where he lived for maybe three years. He got fluent in English pretty fast, but spoke it with a British accent. He went to college and got a degree in international studies, where he interacted with a lot of Americans. He said he was a little embarassed to tell people he had an American nationality with his British accent and Japanese parents. Personally, I think that's awesome. So the point is, his English was beyond perfect. I didn't even know it until a few hours into the party. He told me that he's hosted many many exchange students and he's never heard anyone pick up the language so fast. And he told me that when he heard me say I haven't been studying for very long, he assumed that was just Japanese modesty and that I've been studying for around five years or something. Sweet! What a nice compliment! It made me feel pretty good. He asked me what was my motivation, as I've already graduated high school and have no intention of majoring in Japanese when I'm in college. What's my motivation?! Every time I have to ask someone to repeat what they said, I'm a little more motivated to study. Every time I start drooling in class because the teacher is talking to fast for me to understand, I'm a little more motivated. Every time I am frustrated that I can't get somewhere by myself because I can't read kanji, I'm a little more motivated. Motivation is surrounding me. I told him that I have no intention of coming out of this fluent in Japanese, but seeing as I only have a year, I'd like to get as much down as possible. The idea of a language is exciting. He hinted that fluency might not be impossible at this rate.
Personally, I'm pretty sure I won't be fluent. But I will be able to understand most everything I hear. And hopefully, I'll be able to read a little too. I'll be happy if I can talk with ease, without stopping and thinking as I'm talking. I don't want to set unrealistic goals, but I don't want to sell myself short either. But actually, I don't even need to make any long term goals. What I'm doing now seems to be working just fine (studying and listening).
Anyways, the party was fun. Everyone was drunk by midnight (except me of course) and after the party, we went to a bar and drank more (except me of course) at this amazing place that had a six-page menu consisting of different kinds of alcoholic beverages (and orange juice) and cheezy french fries. We finished around 3:00 AM, but the trains weren't running until 5:00, so we searched Osaka for a place to socialize (read: sleep!) for the next two hours. We finally found ourselves in a karaoke bar and everyone stretched out on the benches and fell asleep. I returned home around 6:45, went to sleep, and woke up around 9:30 for my hair cut. It was the most expensive hair cut I've ever gotten in my entire life. It was around $50 and included a shampoo, cut, and style. Same as what I usually get in the States for around $15. Actually, it's a really nice cut and I highly recommend coming to Japan to get your hair cut! It's the best cut I've ever got, and he even showed me how to style it. The longest layer goes to my shoulders and the shortest just above my chin. Very chic. I'm pleased with it.
So I went home, ate curry udon, and will now finally sleep. Good night.
Tuesday, December 26, 2006
It's hard to believe it's almost January
Today I went to kendo practice only to find I was the only there. It was 9:00 during my winter break. I checked the schedule and it turns out they changed the practice time to 1:00 and I hadn't understood the announcement. A little bit of a bummer. The is the second I went to kendo too early, but the first time was my own fault. I wrote down the time right and they told me right, but I just went at the wrong time. I feel like I shouldn't take offense or be upset. I don't want them to baby me after all. I want to be a part of the club. I feel stupid when they have to take me aside and tell me all the announcements slowly and in words I can understand. But I appreciate it even as I feel stupid. And not knowing Japanese isn't something I'm ashamed of. It's not like I'm not working hard or not trying. Also, I was the only kid at school this morning. That's really rare. There are virtually always clubs practicing, except for on Sundays. During most holidays and even on the week before tests when no club was allowed to practice, there were clubs out there working hard. Something must have been going on this morning that caused all clubs to be postponed or cancelled. I wonder what it is.
Ah well. I'm home now. Going out with friends later this evening. That should be a lot of fun.
Ah well. I'm home now. Going out with friends later this evening. That should be a lot of fun.
Monday, December 25, 2006
Merry Christmas!
Right now, it is Christmas in just about every part of the world. I love Christmas. Have a good one.
Sunday, December 24, 2006
My Christmas Eve
I feel like I should record everything because this is a really exciting time. Today was Christmas Eve, though my familiy in the States are just waking up and starting the day off. I celebrated with my family in a very interesting, non-traditional way. The highlight of my day started when we went grocery shopping for dinner. We bought stuff for crab nabo, which is amazingly delicious, and the ingredients of chocolate chip cookies, at my request. We went home (my host parents and I), made and ate the nabo, and I started on my cookies, with Okaasan close at hand. It was nice. We made them together. She would add the ingredients while I stirred or I would measure something out while she greased. It was a good time. Her first time making (and later eating) chocolate chip cookies, so I felt a little pressure to make them wonderful. =) While we were doing this, Otoosan set up the Nintendo Wii he bought the family as a Christmas present (actually, he just bought it - I pretty arbitrarily decided that it was a Christmas present). We finished the cookies, which turned out really good, though a little different from what I'm used to. Measurements weren't a problem, though it was a little difficult coping with a lack of oven. Can you believe it? My family doesn't have an oven. And they're rich. We used the microwave oven, but the timing was wierd. In the magazine my host mom bought, the instructions said to press the cookie button and wait about thirty minutes for "American cookies" (not chocolate chip). My instructions said to set the temperature to 375 degrees F and wait nine to eleven minutes. Okaasan said I had to be wrong, so she pressed the cookie button and proceeded to wait thirty minutes. About fifteen minutes into it, I commented on how perfect they were and how we should take them out. "Okay, after fifteen more minutes." "But then they'll be really hot!" (I don't know how to say burnt). "Cookies are supposed to be hot." "But not black! Black cookies aren't good!" So she let me take them out and they were perfect. She was really excited about the smell. So was I. So were the dogs. It filled the whole house and I greedily drank in the familiarity. We finished and I explained some customs that they found ridiculous ("You mean Santa leaves presents in a giant sock?! Doesn't it smell bad? What if you have small feet?"). I also told a flimsy version of the Christmas Story (you know, with Jesus and everything) and was excited about how eager they listened. Too bad nobody listens like that when I know the language. I told about my family's own traditions (we always leave cookies out for Santa and a carrot or some other veggie out Rudolph) and what exactly we celebrate. We ate cookies and exchanged some presents. Otoosan bought me his present a few weeks ago, when we went shopping together. A nice cashmere turtleneck that cost more than all the clothes I brought with me to Japan, maybe. Okaasan gave me my favorite movie in the whole world that I've completely missed since switching houses - Totoro! Man I'm so happy about that. It felt like Christmas. I gave them a West Virginia calendar my Mom sent from home (thanks, it was perfect!) and a c.d. of Christmas carols I bought here in Japan. So we listened to Christmas carols and talked more and ate more cookies and I was happy. Otoosan fell asleep to the Christmas music and Okaasan flipped through the calendar asking about the various scenes. It felt very much like Christmas. I'm glad I made the cookies. Even if the brown sugar isn't really brown sugar here in Kyoto.
Christmas actually doesn't start until tomorrow. Hah, I didn't think I was allowed to tell them to save their presents for a day. Besides, what does it matter? Christmas is a feeling, not a day. I'm not upset that I'm missing out on Christmas at home (though I remembered that I haven't eaten a candy cane in about a year). I'm glad that I can share it with these people that have been so wonderful to me. Tomorrow, I'm not going to kendo practice like originally planned. I'm going to my host ma's friend's house to learn how to make Omochi or something like that for the New Years.
I carry Christmas in my heart. That is a good feeling.
Christmas actually doesn't start until tomorrow. Hah, I didn't think I was allowed to tell them to save their presents for a day. Besides, what does it matter? Christmas is a feeling, not a day. I'm not upset that I'm missing out on Christmas at home (though I remembered that I haven't eaten a candy cane in about a year). I'm glad that I can share it with these people that have been so wonderful to me. Tomorrow, I'm not going to kendo practice like originally planned. I'm going to my host ma's friend's house to learn how to make Omochi or something like that for the New Years.
I carry Christmas in my heart. That is a good feeling.
Friday, December 22, 2006
Christmas!!!
Guess what?! Tomorrow is Christmas Eve! I can't believe it. It feels like it should be another four or five months at least. So anyone curious about how I'm going to celebrate my first Christmas abroad? Well, I'm going to kendo practice of course. For four to five hours. And then I'm coming home and studying while I wait for my parents to get home. And then I'll probably eat yakisoba or something and then I'll take a bath and go to bed. But I'll have to do something. At first, I considered taking a day off from kendo on account of it being a particularly important day in my culture, but then I couldn't really think of a reason why. My parents will both be at work and my host sister will be in New York (a little ironic), so I'd just be home alone probably dwelling on the fact that I'm spending Christmas in my little room all alone. I thought going to kendo was a better alternative. I'm actually not so upset. It would be different if there were signs of Christmas everywhere, like in the States, but there's rarely any Christmas music and nobody (but me) says "Merry Christmas" when they depart and there's just not much festivity. Here, Christmas is a holiday for lovers and for children, not so much for families and religion. So I'm celebrating by dressing in traditional Samurai clothes and learning how to kill opponents with a bamboo sword. Meanwhile, I'm preparing by downloading and listening to Christmas music, buying presents for my host family, wearing festive clothes, and trying to get the ingredients for chocolate chip cookies. I don't even know if I should call my family when they're opening presents. It'll be the day after Christmas for me. Or maybe Christmas night.
It's fun explaining what I do for Christmas to my friends. We all did a Secret Santa type thing (where everyone draws a name and secretly buys a present for the person they picked) because my friends thought it sounded like fun after I explained it to them. We spent about $15 on each other, and I was interestingly the only that didn't spend the majority of it on junk food. I think it's because the houses are so small that they have no room for extra clutter. It's a good thing I was only allowed two suitcases, because there's so little storage space for all my stuff.
On the other hand, everyone is preparing extensively for a big New Years. Year of the boar is coming up and it's all my friends are talking about. I discovered that we're holding a huge party at my host house and all the relatives and neighbors and close to 100 people will be gathered at my house to eat New Years food, play New Year's games, and help bring in the New Year. And then we have the week off for continued celebrations. I'm really excited. This is going to be a really spectacular New Years.
Oh, and I sparred Sakai Sensei today for the first time. It was rather successful, I felt. Okay, of course he creamed me, but I didn't just stand there stupidly. It was a little frustrating that I wasn't so mobile as I'm used to in karate. Sensei Cummings of White Eagle always tells us that we have four weapons - two feet and two hands. We are instructed to always be considering which weapon to use. Our feet and weight should be situated so that we can easily access at least two, if not three or four weapons. At any moment, you should have a wide variety of options. You can also easily see a person's fighting style right away. Do they keep their weight evenly distributed? Are they fast? Do they like kicks? Do they go around strikes, or intecept them? Do they prefer opening blocks or closing blocks? Do they aim for the head or the body or elsewhere? In kendo there are three legitimate striking points and a few variations on how you can strike. Because of that, you are much more limited in what you can do (especially if you're a beginner). There is one stance that I know and I've seen one person do it from the other side. I only know the stance on my right side. Because the shinai is so huge, it's very easy to see it coming. In karate, you should always have your hands up for a few reasons. The biggest is so that if someone goes to strike you, you'll be ready for it. A not so obvious reason is so that when you decide to strike someone, you'll be ready and the opponent won't know it until it's too late. In kendo, there's a position to put your hands. If you move from that position, you're leaving your stomach region open and are bound to get hit. You can't put one hand up and leave one hand down. You have one weapon, and that's the shinai. Your weapon can only be in one place at one time. You can't go for the head with a hand and then fake out and kick the solar plexis. When I see a strike coming for the head, I can lift up the shinai, but I often forget to lift both hands and get hit anyways. And I have a lot of trouble returning the hits. As soon as you block a technique, you should automatically return it, but in kendo, the weapon is so big that as soon as you block a hit, you're usually too close to do any real damage to the person. On top of that, I feel all akward and my shinai is jumbled up and I have to get out of striking distance to straighten myself again. Does this make any sense? An interesting thing that I like is that size isn't an advantage (of course, now that I'm not the smallest anymore...) in kendo. Everyone's distance is the same - the length of the shinai.
One more problem I'm having is turning my back. In karate, if you turn back you might as well be dead. Spin techniques are strongly discouraged until a student is fast and sure enough to do them, simply because to spin means to turn your back deliberately on the opponent. That's access to your kidneys and the back of your head and neck and your spine and you have no very little protection back there. In kendo, you're supposed to run past your opponent with many of the techniques. Running past is part of the technique. I've been doing this funny little half run, where as soon as I passed my opponent, I'd face them again and be running half backwards and half sideways. Sakai Sensei told me I look a little like a horse and besides that, my technique is all wrong when I do that. So I forced myself to expose my bare, unprotected back to a person aiming a weopon at me. Very nerve-wrecking and I forgot to do it whenever I wasn't thinking about it.
One of my kendo friends lent me a book that must belong to her little sister or something. It's really exciting that I can read it. It's like second grade level maybe. A chapter book! Woo! I can read a whole chapter book!
Yesterday, there was a bag of oranges in my bath. That was wierd. I think last night was the longest night of the year or something, and that's why.
Last night for dinner, I had spaghetti noodles and squid's ink sauce. It was delicious. After I finished, my lips were black.
I've officially finished my text book and have started the next one. That's pretty exciting. The next one also includes kanji, thankfully. I've really been working hard to learn kanji and reading it is one of the coolest things that happen.
I'm going out to karaoke making today or maybe tomorrow. Not sure which. It's sure to be fun.
My host parents take their two dogs out on a walk every evening. I think it's really sweet. They have that hour or so just for themselves and the dogs. When I get married, I think I'd like to do that too.
I have to give a speech to Rotary during our January meeting. I've already written in English. Unfortunately, I'm the only that can understand it as it is. Maybe they'll just take my word for it that it's really good and well-written? I don't know what'll be left of it after I translate it. *sigh*
The language learning isn't as fast as it was before. I now know enough that I can understand other people and make myself understood. I'm rarely ever grammatically correct and don't catch the little nuances of the language, but I understand. I miss nuances. I miss feeling like a had a strong control of my language. I stutter sometimes. I never did that before. I stop and think in the middle of sentences, even in English. I'm never sure if I'm right. I've become so accustomed to not understanding that I assume people are talking to me whenever I do understand. I laugh out of habit when everyone else laughs. When I understand, I assume it's in English and am often superised to find it's Japanese. Likewise, when people speak to me in English, I assume they're speaking in Japanese and don't understand. The idea of American food sickens me. I remember a lot of the things I found baffling in the beginning, but I don't remember why they were baffling or how to do it any other way. What's so weird about going grocery shopping every day? I remember being surprised. How often do we go shopping in the States? At least every other day, right? Every three days? I don't know. Something shocking. I feel like it should be once a week or once every two weeks, but that can't be right. And we had to eat rice at least once every two days, right? Once a week? Geez! Once a week! Try every day, every meal! I can't remember what it's like otherwise. And showers in the morning. And no school clubs every day. And our teachers actually gave us tests whenever they felt like it. I think. Students actually drove to school. Sometimes in their own cars. I think less than half of my school rode their bikes. Wait, I'm not sure any kids actually rode their bikes to school. And some of the shirts I brought show so much skin! I can hardly believe it! And do we really heat the whole house? And not just the floor or the seats or tiny spots? Do we really scream when we clap our hands? Often? Are boots with shorts really a taboo? Why? Did I used to sleep with more than two blankets? How many? Where did friends sleep when they came over? Not on futon mattresses. Where? And where do we keep our altar? Not in the tatami room. And my house can't really be double this house's size, like I remember thinking when I first got here. I've always been fairly tall of course we had to wear uniforms to school. I can't believe I actually opted to live away from home for college. How will I pay for it?! Why is it so bad to shake hands with the right hand? And does the vigorosity of the handshake really matter? And what in the world did I really do with all my free time (did I even have free time?)? How can I have such a huge family and who will my grandparents live with when they're too old to live alone? Is it really true my mom actually didn't work at home and that I did my own laundry and that I really had a job in high school and that there are a whole four years of high school? That's so wierd. Foreign.
I feel a little displaced. I'm akward in any language and I don't understand any culture. I feel the most at home with my fellow exchange students who also are without a culture.
I want to dance. And drink. Or do karate. Spar in karate. Or rondorei and then go out with the karate guys after class. When I get home I'm going to lead a really high-energy class so fast that I'll barely be able to keep up. I love those classes. I want to write something and then feel good about the poetry of my composition. And I want to be sure of the spelling of what I wrote. I don't ever want to go home, but I want this to be home. I want to understand without thinking. Does that make sense? I want to just be. I want to understand my friends' jokes and why they think they're so funny. I want to be able to sit on my knees on the wooden floor and not feel pain in my knees and ankles. I feel like it's one of those children's games where you put the block into the hole. I'm a triangle and Japan's a square and I'm just not going in.
I'm not homesick. Not really even sad. Worn out maybe? Everything's still going well. I'm getting along really well with my family and my school friend's are really great. We go out more than I did in the States. On top of that, I have a plethora of exchange friends a phone call away. I still really like Japan and find it exciting to look out my window and see the mountains jutting off in the distance. I still eat lunch at Kyoto Station when I can and watch all the people coming and going and wonder about them all. Only now I understand when the little girl next to me says "Mom, I think that girl is writing in English in her little book. Look, she has blonde hair and she's wearing a school uniform. Where do you think she's from?" I still enjoy inspiring that kind of curiosity in others, but no matter how well integrated I become, little girls will always wonder about me. I'm still excited about the language, but I don't even remember what it's like to understand everything. I'm baffled by the television.
I should look on the bright side because Nakai Sensei told me I should always look on the bright side. I have my lovely nightly baths and an amazing host family and a Nakai Sensei who tells me to look on the bright side and at least I can think in English and today wasn't so cold. And it's funny to think what my family must think when they hear me dancing around me room. I don't think my American family could hear me as well as they can. Haha. And I wonder what they think when they hear me sing in the shower. And I love tea.
And now I'm stalling because when I finish this I have to study and that means turning off my Howie Day, who of course is singing in English.
So goodbye. Have a Merry Christmas.
It's fun explaining what I do for Christmas to my friends. We all did a Secret Santa type thing (where everyone draws a name and secretly buys a present for the person they picked) because my friends thought it sounded like fun after I explained it to them. We spent about $15 on each other, and I was interestingly the only that didn't spend the majority of it on junk food. I think it's because the houses are so small that they have no room for extra clutter. It's a good thing I was only allowed two suitcases, because there's so little storage space for all my stuff.
On the other hand, everyone is preparing extensively for a big New Years. Year of the boar is coming up and it's all my friends are talking about. I discovered that we're holding a huge party at my host house and all the relatives and neighbors and close to 100 people will be gathered at my house to eat New Years food, play New Year's games, and help bring in the New Year. And then we have the week off for continued celebrations. I'm really excited. This is going to be a really spectacular New Years.
Oh, and I sparred Sakai Sensei today for the first time. It was rather successful, I felt. Okay, of course he creamed me, but I didn't just stand there stupidly. It was a little frustrating that I wasn't so mobile as I'm used to in karate. Sensei Cummings of White Eagle always tells us that we have four weapons - two feet and two hands. We are instructed to always be considering which weapon to use. Our feet and weight should be situated so that we can easily access at least two, if not three or four weapons. At any moment, you should have a wide variety of options. You can also easily see a person's fighting style right away. Do they keep their weight evenly distributed? Are they fast? Do they like kicks? Do they go around strikes, or intecept them? Do they prefer opening blocks or closing blocks? Do they aim for the head or the body or elsewhere? In kendo there are three legitimate striking points and a few variations on how you can strike. Because of that, you are much more limited in what you can do (especially if you're a beginner). There is one stance that I know and I've seen one person do it from the other side. I only know the stance on my right side. Because the shinai is so huge, it's very easy to see it coming. In karate, you should always have your hands up for a few reasons. The biggest is so that if someone goes to strike you, you'll be ready for it. A not so obvious reason is so that when you decide to strike someone, you'll be ready and the opponent won't know it until it's too late. In kendo, there's a position to put your hands. If you move from that position, you're leaving your stomach region open and are bound to get hit. You can't put one hand up and leave one hand down. You have one weapon, and that's the shinai. Your weapon can only be in one place at one time. You can't go for the head with a hand and then fake out and kick the solar plexis. When I see a strike coming for the head, I can lift up the shinai, but I often forget to lift both hands and get hit anyways. And I have a lot of trouble returning the hits. As soon as you block a technique, you should automatically return it, but in kendo, the weapon is so big that as soon as you block a hit, you're usually too close to do any real damage to the person. On top of that, I feel all akward and my shinai is jumbled up and I have to get out of striking distance to straighten myself again. Does this make any sense? An interesting thing that I like is that size isn't an advantage (of course, now that I'm not the smallest anymore...) in kendo. Everyone's distance is the same - the length of the shinai.
One more problem I'm having is turning my back. In karate, if you turn back you might as well be dead. Spin techniques are strongly discouraged until a student is fast and sure enough to do them, simply because to spin means to turn your back deliberately on the opponent. That's access to your kidneys and the back of your head and neck and your spine and you have no very little protection back there. In kendo, you're supposed to run past your opponent with many of the techniques. Running past is part of the technique. I've been doing this funny little half run, where as soon as I passed my opponent, I'd face them again and be running half backwards and half sideways. Sakai Sensei told me I look a little like a horse and besides that, my technique is all wrong when I do that. So I forced myself to expose my bare, unprotected back to a person aiming a weopon at me. Very nerve-wrecking and I forgot to do it whenever I wasn't thinking about it.
One of my kendo friends lent me a book that must belong to her little sister or something. It's really exciting that I can read it. It's like second grade level maybe. A chapter book! Woo! I can read a whole chapter book!
Yesterday, there was a bag of oranges in my bath. That was wierd. I think last night was the longest night of the year or something, and that's why.
Last night for dinner, I had spaghetti noodles and squid's ink sauce. It was delicious. After I finished, my lips were black.
I've officially finished my text book and have started the next one. That's pretty exciting. The next one also includes kanji, thankfully. I've really been working hard to learn kanji and reading it is one of the coolest things that happen.
I'm going out to karaoke making today or maybe tomorrow. Not sure which. It's sure to be fun.
My host parents take their two dogs out on a walk every evening. I think it's really sweet. They have that hour or so just for themselves and the dogs. When I get married, I think I'd like to do that too.
I have to give a speech to Rotary during our January meeting. I've already written in English. Unfortunately, I'm the only that can understand it as it is. Maybe they'll just take my word for it that it's really good and well-written? I don't know what'll be left of it after I translate it. *sigh*
The language learning isn't as fast as it was before. I now know enough that I can understand other people and make myself understood. I'm rarely ever grammatically correct and don't catch the little nuances of the language, but I understand. I miss nuances. I miss feeling like a had a strong control of my language. I stutter sometimes. I never did that before. I stop and think in the middle of sentences, even in English. I'm never sure if I'm right. I've become so accustomed to not understanding that I assume people are talking to me whenever I do understand. I laugh out of habit when everyone else laughs. When I understand, I assume it's in English and am often superised to find it's Japanese. Likewise, when people speak to me in English, I assume they're speaking in Japanese and don't understand. The idea of American food sickens me. I remember a lot of the things I found baffling in the beginning, but I don't remember why they were baffling or how to do it any other way. What's so weird about going grocery shopping every day? I remember being surprised. How often do we go shopping in the States? At least every other day, right? Every three days? I don't know. Something shocking. I feel like it should be once a week or once every two weeks, but that can't be right. And we had to eat rice at least once every two days, right? Once a week? Geez! Once a week! Try every day, every meal! I can't remember what it's like otherwise. And showers in the morning. And no school clubs every day. And our teachers actually gave us tests whenever they felt like it. I think. Students actually drove to school. Sometimes in their own cars. I think less than half of my school rode their bikes. Wait, I'm not sure any kids actually rode their bikes to school. And some of the shirts I brought show so much skin! I can hardly believe it! And do we really heat the whole house? And not just the floor or the seats or tiny spots? Do we really scream when we clap our hands? Often? Are boots with shorts really a taboo? Why? Did I used to sleep with more than two blankets? How many? Where did friends sleep when they came over? Not on futon mattresses. Where? And where do we keep our altar? Not in the tatami room. And my house can't really be double this house's size, like I remember thinking when I first got here. I've always been fairly tall of course we had to wear uniforms to school. I can't believe I actually opted to live away from home for college. How will I pay for it?! Why is it so bad to shake hands with the right hand? And does the vigorosity of the handshake really matter? And what in the world did I really do with all my free time (did I even have free time?)? How can I have such a huge family and who will my grandparents live with when they're too old to live alone? Is it really true my mom actually didn't work at home and that I did my own laundry and that I really had a job in high school and that there are a whole four years of high school? That's so wierd. Foreign.
I feel a little displaced. I'm akward in any language and I don't understand any culture. I feel the most at home with my fellow exchange students who also are without a culture.
I want to dance. And drink. Or do karate. Spar in karate. Or rondorei and then go out with the karate guys after class. When I get home I'm going to lead a really high-energy class so fast that I'll barely be able to keep up. I love those classes. I want to write something and then feel good about the poetry of my composition. And I want to be sure of the spelling of what I wrote. I don't ever want to go home, but I want this to be home. I want to understand without thinking. Does that make sense? I want to just be. I want to understand my friends' jokes and why they think they're so funny. I want to be able to sit on my knees on the wooden floor and not feel pain in my knees and ankles. I feel like it's one of those children's games where you put the block into the hole. I'm a triangle and Japan's a square and I'm just not going in.
I'm not homesick. Not really even sad. Worn out maybe? Everything's still going well. I'm getting along really well with my family and my school friend's are really great. We go out more than I did in the States. On top of that, I have a plethora of exchange friends a phone call away. I still really like Japan and find it exciting to look out my window and see the mountains jutting off in the distance. I still eat lunch at Kyoto Station when I can and watch all the people coming and going and wonder about them all. Only now I understand when the little girl next to me says "Mom, I think that girl is writing in English in her little book. Look, she has blonde hair and she's wearing a school uniform. Where do you think she's from?" I still enjoy inspiring that kind of curiosity in others, but no matter how well integrated I become, little girls will always wonder about me. I'm still excited about the language, but I don't even remember what it's like to understand everything. I'm baffled by the television.
I should look on the bright side because Nakai Sensei told me I should always look on the bright side. I have my lovely nightly baths and an amazing host family and a Nakai Sensei who tells me to look on the bright side and at least I can think in English and today wasn't so cold. And it's funny to think what my family must think when they hear me dancing around me room. I don't think my American family could hear me as well as they can. Haha. And I wonder what they think when they hear me sing in the shower. And I love tea.
And now I'm stalling because when I finish this I have to study and that means turning off my Howie Day, who of course is singing in English.
So goodbye. Have a Merry Christmas.
Friday, December 15, 2006
Owari
I passed. It wasn't too bad. I actually worked out a total of about 20 minutes. I couldn't believe it was so fast. I just did my stuff and that was it. I didn't even do everything I know. At least not one by one. It took a little bit longer because we went in two groups - group A and group B. THe Japanese wasn't too bad either. I understood almost all of it. Besides that Nakai Sensei was there translating for me. But I could have done it without him I'm sure. The best thing is that in the beginning, they told us they had every intention to pass us all and that the main purpose of us being there was to learn kendo. So when anyone messed up, they stopped and helped them. They said they wanted us to walk out of there knowing everything we had to know. After the test, we spent about an hour going over the katas we know piece by piece. That was a little harder to understand, but they allowed Nakai Sensei on the floor to translate, and really I understood more from the visuals than from anything else. It was good.
my kendo gear smells funny
My test starts tomorrow morning. Eek. I'm not sure if I'm nervous or not. Haha, maybe that's becuase if I say I'm nervous, I'm not sure if I'm really what I'm saying, so I'm not really sure what I'm feeling. Oh dear, I don't think I explained that very well. Ah well. It's a wierd wierd thing to be preparing for a first rank test. And I feel ridiculous telling people "In the States, I did karate, kung fu, judo, and aikido." "Wow! What clubs are you in here?" "Kendo." I make it sound like I know five martial arts. That's ridiculous. I always start with "Oh in the States, I did karate." and they might say "Cool! I do judo!" "Oh really! That's really cool! I do too!" "Karate and judo?" "Erm, yeah. Together." "Wow! My friend does judo and aikido!" "Oh cool! I do judo and aikido too!" "AND aikido?!" "Well, sorta. Yeah." "Wow that's so cool! Which is your favorite." "Well we use them together, so that's a difficult question. But probably my favorite katas are kung fu katas." "KUNG FU TOO! Wow! What else?" "Nothing else. Really, that's it!" "Wow! Well our school has none of that. So you probably have a lot of time since you're not in a club, right?" "Well, actually I'm in the kendo club." "WHAT?!" So yeah. I look like the jerk that knows five martial arts, when in reality... what? I wouldn't consider myself proficient in five martial arts. I have a lot to learn. I can rule out kendo right away. I'm a black belt in Bai Ying Pai. Whatever that means. I've been working on martial arts for six and a half years. So whatever that means is what I am.
Anyways. yeah. Test tomorrow morning. I should be sleeping of course. It's funny preparing for it. I think things like, "Oh, I better start stocking up on water so I can last through this test." Oh yeah. Ten minutes long. "I'd better eat a good, healthy, substantial breakfast so I can make it through tomorrow." Oh yeah. I just need to run in, show them I know what a shinai is, and run out. I won't even break a sweat. I'm sure of that.
Tomorrow is also Christmas party number one. I'm looking forward to it. For one, I get to socialize with my last Okaasan, which'll be nice. And for two maybe I can make a comeback with my Japanese after the flop on Wednesday. And maybe it might even be fun. It is a party after all. I asked Otoosan what we're going to do and he said just eat and play BINGO. Okay. Err, guess that could be really fun.
Oh man, I'm really tired. Goodnight. Wish me luck.
Anyways. yeah. Test tomorrow morning. I should be sleeping of course. It's funny preparing for it. I think things like, "Oh, I better start stocking up on water so I can last through this test." Oh yeah. Ten minutes long. "I'd better eat a good, healthy, substantial breakfast so I can make it through tomorrow." Oh yeah. I just need to run in, show them I know what a shinai is, and run out. I won't even break a sweat. I'm sure of that.
Tomorrow is also Christmas party number one. I'm looking forward to it. For one, I get to socialize with my last Okaasan, which'll be nice. And for two maybe I can make a comeback with my Japanese after the flop on Wednesday. And maybe it might even be fun. It is a party after all. I asked Otoosan what we're going to do and he said just eat and play BINGO. Okay. Err, guess that could be really fun.
Oh man, I'm really tired. Goodnight. Wish me luck.
Wednesday, December 13, 2006
Success!!
I'm so cool! Woo! You won't believe how cool I am. I'm beyond cool. I'm the bomb diggidy. yeah. That cool. I went to a Rotary Club meeting today, which was about the same as normal - a little boring. I was one of the only ones awake by the end of the meeting, which I found ironic as I was probably the only one that couldn't understand what they were saying. I saw my last host father for the first time since I changed families. That was nice. Not as akward as I imagined. The Rotarians took turns asking me the normal questions. How is your Japanese? Do you enjoy kendo? Do you have a lot of friends? What have you been up to? (Not so good yet, yes, yes, and iroirona). I was a little sad because I still stumbled more often than not and I had a plan to impress them. =) The plan failed. But I did get some interesting comments. You look different, one person said. I thought I wasn't understanding him, but then he told me my face has changed. Interesting. I wonder what he means. I'm zittier than I was when I arrived? I was wearing contacts today, which I don't normally wear. And I was in a really great mood. Laughing at everything. My cheeks were red because it was cold outside. Maybe it was one of those.
I went shodo and learned the kanji for "the art of" and then went to kendo and learned the rest of the stuff I need to know for my test on Saturday. After that was the highlight of my day. Oh man. I'm obviously too cool for myself. I went to a Rotaract meeting, which is where young Rotarians wannabes get together and try to save the world. It was a lot of fun. I was so cool! I understood about 99% of everything said to me! It was amazing. I even followed group conversations! I'm incredibly excited! Everyone came up to talk to me and my host sister(/translator) had to go help with something, so I was left alone with all the questions and no English. It was great. I couldn't believe it. They kept saying "Holy cow! You've only been here since August! That's amazing! You're Japanese is so good!" And I kept waiting for them to say something I didn't understand or to want to say something I couldn't, but it didn't come. It even almost felt natural! Woo! Party time! I understood! Woo woo! After the meeting (which felt a little like a church youth group meeting), we went out to eat and man was I cool. I understood! Some people started out directing their questions to my host sis ("What school is she going to? Where is she from? Does she speak Japanese?") but I totally intercepted them and answered them with ease. Man it felt good. It feels good. Some people asked my host sis what language they should speak to me in and she automatically replied Japanese. I was pleased but a little afraid I'd make a fool out of myself (I feel stupid asking people to speak to me in Japanese and then not understanding), but not a problem. It helped I think that my host sister was there, completely confident that I could carry out a conversation. And she was there for backup in case I had any real linguistic problems, but I didn't let myself use her as a crutch. I didn't need to.
This is good news. You know that feeling when you have a test or a speech to make and you completely forgot to study for it? You just decide to wing it and then you start and wonder how long you can go before everyone catches on that actually you don't know a thing about what you're talking about. Your arguements aren't well made, your points aren't solid. You're a fake. Sometimes it feels like that when I'm speaking Japanese. How long until they realize I'm only catching the main idea? How long until they realize I have no idea what's going on? But today I wasn't winging it. Today I was talking. Communicating! Woohoo! I love love love communication. Especially successful communication. What'll it be like to be back home, where everyone understands me? To not struggle over the language? I don't even remember what it's like to talk with ease. I do it every week over the phone with my mom and usually every day at least a little with Nakai Sensei or David. But it's different. For one, my English is more haltering. I'm not so confident that I'm using correct words. And I have to consciously separate the English from the Japanese.
I want to talk more to you, tell you more about how it feels to understand and be understood. I want to scream as loud as I can and tell everyone how cool I am, or better yet, engage someone in a Japanese conversation. Alas, I have school in the morning. Oyasumi.
I went shodo and learned the kanji for "the art of" and then went to kendo and learned the rest of the stuff I need to know for my test on Saturday. After that was the highlight of my day. Oh man. I'm obviously too cool for myself. I went to a Rotaract meeting, which is where young Rotarians wannabes get together and try to save the world. It was a lot of fun. I was so cool! I understood about 99% of everything said to me! It was amazing. I even followed group conversations! I'm incredibly excited! Everyone came up to talk to me and my host sister(/translator) had to go help with something, so I was left alone with all the questions and no English. It was great. I couldn't believe it. They kept saying "Holy cow! You've only been here since August! That's amazing! You're Japanese is so good!" And I kept waiting for them to say something I didn't understand or to want to say something I couldn't, but it didn't come. It even almost felt natural! Woo! Party time! I understood! Woo woo! After the meeting (which felt a little like a church youth group meeting), we went out to eat and man was I cool. I understood! Some people started out directing their questions to my host sis ("What school is she going to? Where is she from? Does she speak Japanese?") but I totally intercepted them and answered them with ease. Man it felt good. It feels good. Some people asked my host sis what language they should speak to me in and she automatically replied Japanese. I was pleased but a little afraid I'd make a fool out of myself (I feel stupid asking people to speak to me in Japanese and then not understanding), but not a problem. It helped I think that my host sister was there, completely confident that I could carry out a conversation. And she was there for backup in case I had any real linguistic problems, but I didn't let myself use her as a crutch. I didn't need to.
This is good news. You know that feeling when you have a test or a speech to make and you completely forgot to study for it? You just decide to wing it and then you start and wonder how long you can go before everyone catches on that actually you don't know a thing about what you're talking about. Your arguements aren't well made, your points aren't solid. You're a fake. Sometimes it feels like that when I'm speaking Japanese. How long until they realize I'm only catching the main idea? How long until they realize I have no idea what's going on? But today I wasn't winging it. Today I was talking. Communicating! Woohoo! I love love love communication. Especially successful communication. What'll it be like to be back home, where everyone understands me? To not struggle over the language? I don't even remember what it's like to talk with ease. I do it every week over the phone with my mom and usually every day at least a little with Nakai Sensei or David. But it's different. For one, my English is more haltering. I'm not so confident that I'm using correct words. And I have to consciously separate the English from the Japanese.
I want to talk more to you, tell you more about how it feels to understand and be understood. I want to scream as loud as I can and tell everyone how cool I am, or better yet, engage someone in a Japanese conversation. Alas, I have school in the morning. Oyasumi.
Saturday, December 09, 2006
I like the people I'm surrounded by
So today in kendo, I sparred for the first time. It was fun! It was a tie, with neither of us getting any points, but I'm not sure what that means. The person might have just been being nice to me. Blocks were easy. The shinai is so big and slow that I could see all the techniques he threw long before he threw them. And because I'm smaller than most of the people I spar in karate, I have to get in close and fight fast if I want the advantage. In kendo, we both have to stay far from each other. I have to ignore my instict to get in closer. But it's okay. I thought I wouldn't know what to do when they gave the word to start, but they gave the word and I did just what I was supposed to do. I fought. I went for strikes. Far from good, but not bad for my first time. Not as bad as I expected it was going to be. My Sensei was really impressed. My friends tell me he was grinning and clapping and practically jumping out of his chair when I did this one technique, a strike to the, err, midregion. I didn't think much of it and when I heard the whole kendo club gasp, I assumed it was because it was a really poor technique to do at that time, but afterwards they told me it was good and they were are all impressed. That was nice.
I also learned two katas today. It felt really great. I love katas. I know some people who think they're a waste of time and some people who think they're a good use of time, but just don't like them anyways. I love love love katas. My katas were as short as short leapord form and probably the easiest katas I've ever learned, but they felt really great. Mostly, it was just walking to the opponent, striking, and backing away. Nonetheless, it felt really great. I love the mechanics of katas. I love that everything has a purpose and when put together and everything is alligned just the right way, the technique feels really good. I love the snap of the body and the feeling of projecting my power into my opponent. These new katas I learned are dramatically easier than the last kata I learned (Dancing Dragon? Flowing II? Something like that), but they felt just as good. Better, maybe. Oh yeah, and they're done with the wooden sword. Not the shinai (bamboo sword), but the wooden sword that we have at White Eagle that nobody but the Sensei's know how to use. Not me. Except now I can do a really simple kata. Yeah. And I was able to effectively ask questions and understand the reasons for where my body was where it was. I love martial arts very much. I was afraid I might stop and lose everything in college, but I'm not afraid of that anymore. It feels way too right to stop anytime soon.
I also learned two katas today. It felt really great. I love katas. I know some people who think they're a waste of time and some people who think they're a good use of time, but just don't like them anyways. I love love love katas. My katas were as short as short leapord form and probably the easiest katas I've ever learned, but they felt really great. Mostly, it was just walking to the opponent, striking, and backing away. Nonetheless, it felt really great. I love the mechanics of katas. I love that everything has a purpose and when put together and everything is alligned just the right way, the technique feels really good. I love the snap of the body and the feeling of projecting my power into my opponent. These new katas I learned are dramatically easier than the last kata I learned (Dancing Dragon? Flowing II? Something like that), but they felt just as good. Better, maybe. Oh yeah, and they're done with the wooden sword. Not the shinai (bamboo sword), but the wooden sword that we have at White Eagle that nobody but the Sensei's know how to use. Not me. Except now I can do a really simple kata. Yeah. And I was able to effectively ask questions and understand the reasons for where my body was where it was. I love martial arts very much. I was afraid I might stop and lose everything in college, but I'm not afraid of that anymore. It feels way too right to stop anytime soon.
Sunday, December 03, 2006
I'm So Happy!
One of my friends came over and spent some time with me this weekend. She is from Hungary and not doing so well with her host family or school. She's not happy here and is considering returning home early. She asked me what my secret is. Why am I so happy? How did I get so lucky as to end up with two really great host families? She told me "You do your things very well," referring to living here. It was really surprising to hear that. I absolutly love it here, adore my host family, and pretty much want to marry the world, but I didn't know that it was so obvious or that everyone didn't share that feeling. I feel like I'm living an exchanger's dream. I'm not homesick. I'm learning the language. I'm on my second really awesome family. I made really good, patient friends on the first day of school and go out with them whenever we have time. I'm not in any really difficult classes. I have one of the few large houses in Japan. I have a laptop. I have supportive teachers. I was automatically accepted into the kendo club and am expected to participate like any of the members. My Rotary club loves me. My trips are fun. My country is amazing. My family is fairly wealthy (okay, admit it, it is a plus to anyone's exchange). My commute to school is fun. I've tricked the world into thinking I'm a good student. I keep thinking this happy feeling is fake and looking for the real feeling underneath, but it's not fake. I really am happy. It's not "fake it till you make it," it's absolutly happiness. And everyone I'm with knows it, which makes them like me more, which makes me happier, which makes it show more. I ran into a kid from school whom I didn't know at all, and she asked to take a picture with me. I love it.
And I've gotten myself kind of a reputation of a happy person. My friend came over just to see what advice I could give her on being happy. I was talking to my english teacher about my new family and how I now commute to school. He said "Man, that's going to suck. You have a bus and two trains? That'll take forever. Maybe we can figure something else out." I said, "It's not too bad. I can sleep on the bus and I like taking the trains. Besides, if we worked something else out I wouldn't be able to go through Kyoto Station, and that's like my favorite place to be." He shook his head and replied "Why don't you ever complain? If I was you, I'd be b**ching up a storm right now." The other day I was trying a new food and everyone was watching me to see how I'd react. I tried it and smiled, pronouncing it delicious. Every laughed and said "Man! She eats anything! She does anything! Is she Japanese?" So yeah, thanks for the advice, Renie. Not complaining works.
Oh, and I decided on my career, finally. I'm going to be a monk when I grow up. I'll live in a temple and run around in the woods surrounding it and tend to the gardens and shave me head. I could get up every morning at 5 with the other monks and pray to the gods of health and love and eat tofu and make the world beautiful. Which college specializes in that?
And I've gotten myself kind of a reputation of a happy person. My friend came over just to see what advice I could give her on being happy. I was talking to my english teacher about my new family and how I now commute to school. He said "Man, that's going to suck. You have a bus and two trains? That'll take forever. Maybe we can figure something else out." I said, "It's not too bad. I can sleep on the bus and I like taking the trains. Besides, if we worked something else out I wouldn't be able to go through Kyoto Station, and that's like my favorite place to be." He shook his head and replied "Why don't you ever complain? If I was you, I'd be b**ching up a storm right now." The other day I was trying a new food and everyone was watching me to see how I'd react. I tried it and smiled, pronouncing it delicious. Every laughed and said "Man! She eats anything! She does anything! Is she Japanese?" So yeah, thanks for the advice, Renie. Not complaining works.
Oh, and I decided on my career, finally. I'm going to be a monk when I grow up. I'll live in a temple and run around in the woods surrounding it and tend to the gardens and shave me head. I could get up every morning at 5 with the other monks and pray to the gods of health and love and eat tofu and make the world beautiful. Which college specializes in that?
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