I think I'm losing it

Hello! I got on to my computer and the other day and realized that my homepage (google.com) has switched for about the fourth time to Japanese (google.co.jp). I never asked it to and I even when it's in English, the option to switch to Japanese is always at the right hand corner. I have no idea where the option came from or how in the world Google knows where I am, but they definitely do. My email is also officially in Japanese and I'm not sure how to fix that, though it seems that it changes back to English randomly. It might be because I write a quite a few emails in Japanese, or it might be that my email is also google and that whatever made them decide to change my homepage also made them change my email. Now, my blogger is also in Japanese. Can you guys tell, or is it just my posting options? It's a good thing this didn't happen earlier in my exchange or there might not even be a blog.

So I've been busy lately. I went out with my last host sister today and later met a whole bunch of her friends that I haven't seen in a while. The day before I went out with my kendo club. We ate and ate and ate and then went out to karaoke. Yesterday afternoon, I went to my friend's goodbye party (she's moving), and the day before I went out with friends from school. The day before I went out with five other exchange students and now, I'm pretty much broke. I haven't eaten dinner here at home in forever. I also smell pretty badly of cigarettes and beer and karaoke. I hope the smell will come off my jacket and scarf and stuff.

Kendo was pretty good today! Sensei told me that I've become good and that he's really happy with my progress. That was really great. I was happy when he told me that. My friends gave me a new assessment of my problems, and I've pretty much fixed the old, common ones. At least, I hope I did. I've been working hard to fix all the problems that are constantly pointed out to me. My newest, worst problem is actually pretty funny. For some reason, I have the hardest time springing forward off my back leg. I had that problem when I was learning jump spins in karate too. So because I have some kind of mental block (fear?) keeping me from making that tiny step, I used to compensate by bringing my back foot forward a little bit to lesson the interval between my feet. The result was that I always ended up to closer than anticipated to my opponent, which means I used the wrong part of the shinai, which is also probably connected to using the wrong tenouchi. So I worked really hard to fix that and everyone stopped fixing that. And then, hehe, yesterday Sensei pointed out that instead of bringing my back leg forward, I'm bringing my front leg back. Darn! I feel like that's much worse because I practically topple over just from that little step back. So I have to retrain my feet to make this tiny, rather normal step. I don't know why it's so hard for me.

I also thought the advice I got today was interesting. At the end of every class someone goes up front and leads through about 4 minutes of technique, sort of like a warm-down. So today was my turn. Haha, everyone says they're so impressed when I go up because I sound like I know what I'm talking about when it's obvious that I don't. They say it's almost like I've been teaching kendo for a few years. They told me that most beginners have a huge self-confidence problem and hate being up front. They don't speak loud enough, they're hesitant with they're technique, they complain when they shouldn't, and they carry themselves slumped and embaressedly. Haha, sound familiar, all you who were around when I started teaching? Even before that when I had to lead warm-ups for the first time? So everyone agrees that I have awesome energy/spirit and that my posture is great (which came as a surprise), but that I don't know a thing about the shinai. Some people say it doesn't make sense. Why do I have such a loud, confident kiai if I can't hold the shinai? Why can I do the small kotei men better than anyone else but I can't do a regular kotei for the life of me? Not that having a karate background makes me even almost good at kendo. I'm a beginner and there are no shortcuts to learning. That's what this year is teaching me. No shortcuts. Well, emersion is sort of a language-learning shortcut.

My Mom should be here by tomorrow evening. Thank goodness. I'm looking forward to seeing her.