Nihongo

Japanese is difficult! I'm glad I'm working from a textbook, otherwise it would be hard to see the actual progress I'm making. It's so slow. I want the whole language! I want to say anything! I want to understand everything I hear! Sometimes, I feel like I'm not moving at all, just flipping through my text and emptily listening to the people around me. That's the most frustrating thing, that I can't understand everyone. Sometimes, I want to scream "SLOW DOWN!! One sentence at a time, dude!" Every morning, my homeroom teacher reads the announcements, and every morning, I almost understand them. But not enough. Never enough.

Nakai Sensei told me some frustrating news today. He said that I shouldn't expect to go home fluent and that I should focus on being able to make myself understood and to learn the rhythm of Japanese. He said it'll be much easier to learn the language when I go home if I have the rhythm down. He also said that I'm learning much faster than most exchange students he deals with (he has one every few years for twenty years, maybe), my pronunciation is great, and that if I keep up my work I will go home with a working knowledge of Japanese. He also says that these next few months will probably the most difficult, especially linguistically and that I shouldn't get frustrated. Only they talk and talk and I catch glimpses of phrases I know, but I can't understand. Every successful conversation is something I take pride in, and I usually have a few a day, but I want MORE! Every book promises that it's can teach me the language in a few short weeks, but it's been two months. I know, I didn't expect to be fluent in two months and it's ridiculous to be disappointed that I'm not, but it's getting old.

My next family knows no English, I hear. Good. And I'm going to make Nakai Sensei talk to me more in Japanese. And I'm going to study more.

Today, despite the negativity emanating from this post, was fairly good. Kendo was a little slow but that'll change when I get my gear. Oh, we're going to a tournament somewhere maybe west of here. I can't participate, but it's an overnight trip and I'm invited. I get to stand on the sides and scream "FIGHTO! FIGHTO!! NICE-O FIGHTO!!" I absolutely love that. I think it's one of the funniest things ever. I didn't know what they were saying the first time I heard it and when I finally figured it out, I cracked up. It's a fairly common cheer here. Even the kendo no Sensei screams it somethimes.

And my host ma's mother came over today to celebrate her 58th birthday. That was fun. She said she's really impressed with my Japanese. I tried denying it, but she pointed out that the last time she came, I could barely speak to her and now I can keep up in conversations and make myself understood fairly easily, and it's only been a month. I said I wasn't good enough yet. I hate denying compliments. I wanted to run into her arms and tell her that really made me feel good. In the end, I smiled and thanked her. How American am I allowed/supposed to be? Zen zen? A little? A lot? I don't know.

Tomorrow (Friday) is a holiday, but I have kendo practice for a few hours. Afterwards, I'm either going to try to do something with my friends or go searching for a camera card reader and a notebook. Saturday is kendo and Obaasan's house and my phone home day (hurray!). Sunday I meet my next family. Yikes. I hope they're nice. But I'm looking forward to it. It should be fun and I've already met the father. Oh yeah, and I'm meeting them at the dog party they're throwing. I asked my host parents what happens at a dog party and they laughed and said they had no idea. How amazing is that? They're throwing a party for/in honor of their dogs. They can't be too terrible.

A Cultural Misunderstanding?

Today was wierd. I was in my shodo class (Japanese calligraphy) and the Sensei (teacher) was writing out the kanji (word) I was going to do today. He wrote it for me then turned to leave. "Wait!" I thought, "You didn't write the stroke order! Come back!" I did some fast thinking and said in Japanese "Chotto motte!" which literally means a little bit stop. I meant to say "Don't leave yet!" He turned around and laughed. I KNOW "Chotto motte" means wait just a second. I use it every day when I talk to my little host sis, and she uses it with me and with Okaasan. How could he be laughing? At first, I thought he heard me wrong, but then I realized that everyone at my table was laughing. In fact, within moments, the whole class was laughing. I don't mind being laughed at, but it was a little frustrating that I was using a perfectly standard phrase and they were pretty much telling me I was wrong. My Sensei asked me who taught me the phrase and I said I wasn't sure, I just heard it a lot. He told me the stroke order I wanted and walked away. My friend told me I shouldn't say that to teachers. I left off the "please." What?! All that fuss because I didn't say "please"? I laughed and apologized to my teacher (impolitely, I later learned), thanked him for the stroke order (impolitely, I later learned), and went to work, thinking the ordeal was over. Only, he didn't say anything to me the whole class, whereas he is usually hovering over me telling me everything I'm doing is wrong and helping me to do it right. Either my shodo suddenly got really good or I offended him. Later, I overheard one of my friends saying that he was angry with me. I had no idea that he was angry. He was laughing for goodness sakes. What's the big deal?

So there are some lessons to be gleaned from this. Just because I know a word doesn't mean I know how to use it. The Japanese are really really big on politeness, especially when it's a student-teacher relationship. While I have many privilages as a foreigner, forgetting to say "please" isn't one of them. The Japanese are really wierd about showing anger. But, I was the only that didn't pick up on his anger, so it's possible (probable) that they aren't so wierd and I just don't know the signs to look for. NEVER give a teacher a direct order, such as "Wait just a second." They're really big on being indirect and subtle. Double check the Japanese you learn from a 7 year-old. I need to get really really comfortable with the polite form of verbs and other words.

Also, there have been teachers at the front gate of school every morning this week checking uniforms. It's really intimidating. They all scowl and stomp their feet and make kids get off their bikes so they can be inspected. It's intense. At the stop light before school, all the kids were adjusting their ties and straightening their socks. Nobody had rolled up skirts. And lo and behold, not a thing was said to me except "Good morning!" (in english) . Wierd, eh? I won't complain though. I told my host mom and she said it's because my uniform was perfect, but I had my doubts. They pick on everyone but me, and I've escaped them every day this week, which is unheard of. My theory is that nobody wants to have to be the one to speak English to the poor little gaijin. My host mom agrees with this theory and claims I'm pretty lucky. Sweet.

And my kendo instructor is really great. He makes sure I speak politely to him, but he doesn't get angry about it when I mess up (at least, I didn't think he does, but maybe...). The first time I saw him in the halls I smiled and said "Ohaiyoo!" really cheerfully. He shook his head and explained to me that was a very rude way to greet teachers and told me very carefully how I should greet him in the future. And then, he goes out of his way to say good morning to me just to make sure I say it right back to him. I'm grateful. He gave me a list of terms that I should know for kendo and takes me aside every class to see how I'm doing. He's not of afraid of the language barrier, like I suspect some of the club members are, and corrects me frequently. Yesterday, one of the kids said that he really likes me. Haha, she said I'm his favorite. In the States, that's not such a good thing. Here, I don't know. I'll take it if it means I'll get lots of help.

I can handle the language. I can even deal with the huge grammatical changes. I feel like I'm doing well - today I aced a quiz my Japanese teachers made for me. It's not anything that studying and trying can't manage. But the culture... I'm more confident that I'll be semi-fluent in Japanese than in the culture. Everything is different. People expect different things from me here than they did in the States. It's obvious, but sometimes I forget it. Sometimes, I almost get comfortable with my life, and then days like today jolt me awake and remind me to be wary and observent. Haven't Tara and Scott taught me anything? If you let your gaurd down, you're going to get punched in the face sooner or later. Sooner, usually. That's a lesson I've already learned too many times.

Monkeys in the street

Today, they finally measured me for my kendo gear. Which means I'll have everything in a week, hopefully. I have two shinais, a nice case, a bag for my uniform, at least one uniform and who knows what else. I couldn't talk to the guy. Haha. I'm not paying for it either. Rotary is. Cool, eh?

I've already torn through a shinai, which I feel terrible about, but I think the one they gave me to use was really old anyways and nobody else was ever going to use it. Thankfully. They gave me a newer one and told me not be so hard on them. I better figure out how to not be so hard on them before I get my own. And I don't want to damage this one that I'm using.

I saw monkeys in the street the other day. I thought it was the most amazing thing in the world. My host family thought it was funny that I was so excited. I wanted to go out and interact with them. My host family said absolutely not. *sigh*

bi bi kyu

Today, I went to a barbeque with Nakai Sensei and his church. It was very very good and incredibly fun. There was one girl there who was 16 and a few college students. I also went with David, so there was no lack of people to talk to. It was a successful day for me for several reasons. I had no problems mingling with everyone. I always have problems mingling. Why not here, in Japan? I did not take up the stupid, I-don't-know-what's-going-on role (another thing I did fairly regularly in the U.S. but not here) and I spoke and I understood and they understood me. I could follow pretty much everything said to me. A few people didn't make any effort to slow down or use really easy words either (at least I don't think). In fact, a few times, they would address their questions to a translator and I would answer them before the translator would get the chance to translate. Yeah, I'm so cool. It felt really good when Nakai Sensei (who is absolutely fluent in English) came by to see if I needed any linguistic help and saw me participating in a conversation. Also, I enjoy answering questions about America. I can. I am an authority on American culture. That's wierd. But I like it a lot. I like being listened to and I think it's exciting to be able to share my culture with these people. And it helps me find my own cultural identity to hear their questions.

I chased little kids who didn't even know I couldn't speak their language and talked to me with the expectation that they would be understood. Score for me. I participated in an outdoor tea ceremony and I think I butchered every aspect of it, but it was mecha interesting. And I kicked hard core butt in a tug of war contest. Even when a big strong man went to the other side to help them. I totally beat him and all his manliness. The whole church group stopped what they were doing to be impressed with me. Haha, I love it. This much attention and praise for one person can't be healthy.

I have fallen in love with communicating. I love it when people talk to me. I love talking to other people. I love being expected to be able. More than able. I am what I wanted to be when I was little looking at the big 18 year-olds. I am what I wanted to be when I was 17 looking at the big 18 year-olds.

Before I left, I heard that the common amount of time it takes an exchange student to be able to communicate effectively is three months. But I also heard that this deadline doesn't apply to Asian countries because the language is so incredibly different (I can vouch for that). I expected not to understand anything until maybe the fifth or sixth month. I'm two months into the exchange and I can communicate fairly easily. Of course, I couldn't fool anyone (well, unless the anyone is 3 or 4 years old...) into thinking I'm a native speaker, but I can fool people into thinking I've been studying for years. Today, many people asked me how long I've been studying Japanese. Surely I've been taking in high school for a few years, right? Haha! I'm so cool I can hardly handle it.

And then, to complete my successful day, I read an adevertisment all in kanji for a tire shop. Yeah! I read kanji all by myself!

The only thing wrong with today is that I got a little bit more cocky. I've become so full of myself that I'm only serving to support the idea that Americans are uhm, I can't remember the word that means full of yourself. Arrogant! Yeah, I've become arrogant and it feels so good I don't care.

Wooo!!!

Tomorrow, I work out in kendo with real live (not REALLY live) kendo gear! Woo! That means they're going to want me to keep up with everyone. That means people will be swinging shinais at me! That means I get to work out the whole class, maybe. I still don't have any head gear, so nobody is allowed to hit my head yet (can't say I'm too disappointed), but I'm really excited. Today, Sakai Sensei worked with me a little bit and it actually tired me. I miss being physically exhausted. I love it. It might be the first day I've been really tired from kendo. I've been really sore and I've had little bursts of sweat, but I haven't actually been tired yet. Except for today. I ran and ran and swung my heart out then ran some more. Magnificent. I love participating. I don't mind sitting in the back and watching, or working out with whoever can be spared, but I'm greatly looking forward to participating tomorrow. Oh man, I don't know Japanese!

Physical Symptoms of Japan

My face breaks out and clears up and breaks out and clears back up pretty arbitrarily. My face has been the worst it's ever been here in Japan, and for a week or so, I was seriously worried that it'd go way out of control. The next week, my face was clear as a summer afternoon in California. Now it's back to normal - one or two zits, but nothing crazy.

My stomach can't handle the food. I love just about everything I've tried, but I really just can't eat it sometimes. Sometimes it's a loss of appetite, and sometimes it's physical pain from the previous meal. I hope this will be gone within a few weeks.

I've become a morning person, ridiculously happy every morning.

When I come home, I will be a master at pictionary and charades. I've honed my miming skills greatly.

I wake up every morning at 7:00 without an alarm clock. Sometimes I get nine hours of sleep. And yet, I am still exhausted by the time school gets out around 3:15. This pattern wavers though. I'm always more tired than I was in the States, but sometimes I can make it all the way past kendo practice and sometimes I can hardly make it to school without wearing myself out.

I am getting very strong and losing a lot of flexibility. It's wierd.

I've lost all reserve. If I have a word for someting, you can bet I'm going to darn well use it. I dance whenever there is music playing. I sing if it's in English. I am Karaoke Queen. I say hello to every single person I know in school. I make jokes and go out on conversational limbs.

I have a permanent smile glued to my face. I have this theory that if people see me smiling, they'll think I know what's going on and include me in whatever they're talking about.

I love to go out on weekends.

I'm paranoid about little things, like tying my tie just so and getting all the wrinkles out of my sheet before I place the blankets on my bed. But I'm lax about other things I used to be really uptight about, like being punctual and never missing a karate class. Who cares about homework? I attempt what I can, but I don't stress nearly as much as I used to. If I can't finish something, than I can't finish it. I'm certainly not getting any grades here.

I've become very proud of my pale skin. Oh yeah, and I made my little host sister feel good about having dark skin. I told her that in the States, everyone wants a nice tan and that white skin isn't especially beautiful. The next time someone commented on her dark skin (the Japanese are very liberal with their comments on physical imperfections), I overheard her proudly proclaim that she is in fact lucky because in America, only the really pretty people have skin as dark as hers. I felt really good to know I helped make her feel beautiful.

Interestingly, I haven't gained or lost an ounce of wieght, though I'm surprised because I'm a lot stronger now than I was in the States.

And there are many many more physical signs that I'm not in Kansas anymore. Those are probably the most dramatic though.

Have a lovely day,
Heather

Mashed Potatoes = Luv

Some days, I can't believe how amazingly lucky I am. I'm freaking in Japan for one. For two, I'm in the best district in Japan. The weather doesn't get too too bad (though I hear the summers get a lot worse than what I saw) here and it's beautiful and it's close enough to Osaka if I have any shopping needs. It's not too far from the beach, not too terribly far from Tokyo, not too terribly far from anything, real. And then, I'm the luckiest of all the kids in my district because I'm the only one actually in Kyoto City. The Amazing Kyoto City, full of history and culture and beauty. The one every Japanese exchange student yearns to visit.

And then, I ended up in Toba High School, with really supportive teachers, namely Nakai Sensei. I also got a great AET (the English teacher from America that every high school has) who is really friendly and a wonderful all-around person. And then, I landed the Watada's, who are absolutely amazing. My first week here, Okaasan asked me what my favorite foods are, and I mentioned mashed potatoes. She said she didn't know them, so I told her I'd make them for her some day. That was two months ago. Today, I walked in the door and was met by a large helping of the best mashed potatoes in the world. I wanted to cry or hug or her or scream how incredibly nice she is, but instead, I ate the mashed potatoes. I can't believe this lady. She made me mashed potatoes! They were different than I've ever tasted, but probably the best mashed potatoes I'll ever eat. How did I get so lucky? And how will I ever repay this woman her kindness?

I'm also doing great with the language. My sister read me a story today, and I almost could follow the whole thing! Haha, I read it back, and she was cracking up over how slow I was. I don't think I'll ever be comfortable with their alphabets. Of course, I learned them before I left the States, but it takes me forever to read. And most things aren't even written in the two alphabets I learned. Most things are written in kanji, which is the one character per word thing everyone's heard of. It's a mess. My calligraphy class is really great though because I get to practice kanji, learn a new word, and surprise, learn calligraphy all at once. I've learned invaluable phrases from the calligraphy class such as "Heather! Not like that!" "Don't do that!"
"Slowly!" "Please practice more." and "STOP!" Haha, I love it here. I can seriously say all that in Japanese. Who knew calligraphy would teach me all that?

A Fabulous Weekend

Yesterday (Sat.), I mascotted for Toba High School as their real live, geniune foreigner. They had prospective middle school kids come and tour the school and the kendo club volunteered (or maybe the coach volunteered us? Or maybe we didn't volunteer at all, now that I think about it) to hand out information packets to the younguns. I, however, stood on the side and smiled and made curt little bows while the kids gawked at my actual, factual blond hair. I have a secret. I relish the attention. I do. I absolutely love that random people stop me in the halls and ask to feel my hair. Okay, that's a little wierd, but I do love that everyone in the whole school says good morning to me and I love that my eyes are so blue and my freckles so obvious. I love it. I should have made more of an effort to be popular in high school. It's so much fun.

Anyways, I participated in a sample english class for the middle school students, then snuck out while the kendo club wasn't looking and went out to eat with a friend.

Here's the scoop with the friend. I'd never met her before Saturday. I didn't know her name. I had no idea where we were going. She isn't a Toba High School student. She doesn't live anywhere near me or my high school. Her father is a gym teacher at Toba (not my gym teacher, mind you) and she is intersted in English. So he asked me if I could spend a day with her. It was a lot fun. We went out to eat and then to a puricura booth. We spent the majority of the four hours in the restaurant, getting acquainted and figuring out how to communicate (neither of us where sure which language to speak in). She's a really nice girl who's dream is to travel around the world and learn at least three or four different languages. She also didn't ask me if I needed a spoon and a forku (which is like a slap in the face) when we ate, so she got extra points for that.

Today, I went to a really big festival in Kyoto, which might rival Macy's Day Parade. It was cool, though I don't understand the purpose. If I were a really good exchange student, I would look it up. Alas, I am a mediocre exchange student and I might get around to asking someone tomorrow. Afterwards, we went to my very first karaoke bar, which was a wierd experience. The room was small and a little dark. The table and the chairs took up most of the room, and only one group went in at a time. I was picturing a big room with lots of open space and maybe a stage with a small television and lots of people. Duh, I'm in JapanLand now. It was small and we were alone. We took turns picking songs, and I sang such songs as "Let it Be," "Heartache Tonight," "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun," "Country Roads," and "A Thousand Miles." They sang such songs as "Blah blah blah," "Ukiwakisaki," and other stuff.

We went out to eat and I had possibly the best food ever, though I couldn't tell you the name of it if my life depended on it. It was good though. It was also cooked on the table, which was like a giant pan. A little like that restraunt in WV with a name I can't remember. Oh yeah, Hibachi or something. Except every table had it's own little grill and there were no really cool servers tossing shrimp into your mouth. Japanese food is nothing like Hibachi's, by the way.

We biked/jogged home (there were four of us and three bikes...), Asukachan practiced her piano, we took our baths, and here I am. Tired. Very snug with my favorite teddy bear and cuddly laptop. Oh, I don't think Japanese children sleep with teddy bears. My family thought it was a pillow. Haha.

Okay, I'm exhausted. Oyasumi. Good night.

Important

I am capable.

Tomorrow is sports day. I don't know exactly what I'll be doing, but I expect it to be fun. I'm meeting some friends at the big station and we're taking a train together to Somewhere, where we'll play basketball (which I hate) and do a giant jump rope contest with our whole homeroom. It should be a splendid day.

I feel particularly good today for several reasons. First thing this morning, Tanaka Sensei (one of my Japanese teachers) and I spent an hour talking. I understood almost everything and was able to reply in Japanese. He said there was significant improvement since our last meeting and that he was really impressed. I tried to be Japanese and shook my head and denied it. He told me that it was stupid to deny it because it's true. I really did get better. And I know I got betters so I stopped denying it and thanked him. Being "modest" (that's what they call denying compliments. Personally, I don't think saying "thank you" makes a person any less modest, just from a different culture) is harder than it sounds. I never know when to deny compliments and when to accept them. The nice thing is that the Japanese know this and expect it, so pretty much anything I say is okay. I hope.

I read an advertisement today for an ear, nose, and something else clinic. That was awesome. I wanted someone to ask me what it said so I could let them know I knew, but it was in the middle of the subway station and nobody really cared if I could read the ad.

I had a really nice walk home around 7:30-ish. The weather was just what it should have been - a little breezy a little warm. And dark.

Dinner was one of my favorites: soba and some weird chicken thing and rice and salad. Dessert was absolute great. Pears and something that reminded me a little bit of turkish delight, except not even half as sweet.

Today in kendo, I got to participate with everyone in the beginning, during the warm ups. Finally. I still haven't gotten any gear yet and I'm really in no rush. I have a lot to learn about how to swing the shinai before I actually do anything. They're so patient with me and I love learning so much. New concepts are fabulous. Exhilarating.

A Good Feeling

So of course, I did kendo again today. Today I actually did break a sweat and it felt good. Really good. If you don't know anything about martial arts, I advise you to skip this post, as you'll probably find it boring. I'm not really writing to entertain as much as I am to inform anyone who's curious about what's going on in my life, and right now, it's kendo.

Two days and I am already completely in love with the sport. There are so many similarities that sometimes I think it's just karate with a different name. Interestingly, I also think there is absolutely nothing the same about this sport. They taught me how to travel a little today; the front foot moves straight forward and then the back foot follows so that you end up directly in front of where you started. I started out okay, but ended up doing revised stepping front stances (which travel at angles instead of straight back and forth). There were many many times I felt comfortable doing something, only to learn I was doing it completely wrong. But then there were other times when even the things I was doing wrong were the same things I always do wrong. Keep your shoulders back, they told me. Relax them. Draw your power from your center. God. How many times have I been told to keep my shoulders back? A hundred? Every freaking day of my life for the past six years? Maybe. And now, half a world away, they're telling me the same thing. Sensei Hartzell will be pleased. And when I come back, gosh darnit, I will have a straight back.

Today was more difficult than yesterday. When I got home, I couldn't lift my chopsticks without shaking. It was the hardest meal I might have ever eaten. Scratch that. After my green belt test might have been the hardest meal I've ever eaten. But today rivals. I have blisters on my hands and feet. I am sore. And I feel great. I can't wait to go back tomorrow and asatte and ever day. I like that it's semi-easy to disguise that I'm the foriegner during kendo practice (until someone tries to talk to me =)) and I like how familiar the atmosphere feels. How my role as a student is completely the same as it was in the States and my Sensei here treats me very much like my Sensei at home does.

In other news, I'm coming down with some kind of throat thing. No good. I hope I'll sweat it out tomorrow or something. The worst is just a nasty, deep cough, and I hope that'll be gone by tomorrow morning. I don't want to get sick.

Kendo Again

So today, I actually tried a little bit of kendo. Not anything really fancy and I certainly didn't break a sweat, but they went over some uber basics with me.

I was wrong about karate not being an advantage. They told me how to move my hands and where to make contact and then left me to try it out. It felt great. My body already knows how to lock when I strike. It knows where to curl and where to straighten and how to direct energy and power through the weapon. It was incredibly familiar and felt awesome. I'm sure my technique is all wrong and the rules are different and I'm going to blister all over by the end of the week, but I still cherish the feel of making contact and striking and tensing and breathing and locking everything just the right way. Also, I understood a lot of the benefits of the stances and movements right away, though I've never seen them before and certainly never done them. It took me years to figure that out in karate. Of course, I'm missing a lot and I'm far far far from good, but it was comfortable.

I also can relate a little more to the kids I used to teach. How frustrating it is to be told to do something from a right front stance if you don't remember what a right front stance is. How annoying it is to be told to keep your left heel up if you don't know which side is your left and you don't know which part of your foot is the heel.

Oh yeah, and I'm going to be from learning katas like dancing dragon and bassai dai to learning katas like eagle bow. Sweet. I'm totally the lowest rank in the club. Sweet again. I love it. Everything I do is wrong. Actually, it's completely different from when I was the lowest rank at White Eagle. Now I know how to concentrate and learn (I actually have a method I use when learning new katas and new other things, which I found I still use in kendo) and really try. That's like, what I spent the first third of all those years learning.

I had the slightest doubt after watching that first class and seeing nothing familiar, but all doubt has vanished and I am completely excited to learn this new art. How could I have seen nothing familiar? The technique is all different, but the how and the why is pretty much the same. You still exhale when you make contact, you still lock everything just so, you still have to be uber precise. The body is the same. That's so cool.

My Intro to Kendo

Wow. Wow. I saw a kendo practice today. Wow. It's intense. And like nothing I've ever done before. I thought "Oh good, kendo. I know a bit of karate, kung fu, judo, and aikido. Surely that'll give me some background in kendo." Yeah, I was wrong. I didn't see a think that made me think, oh I can do this. Actually, I thought that after the practise was over, but not because I knew anything. How would I explain a front punch to someone who doesn't speak my language? It would be a challenge. This is going to be a challenge. I love challenges.

Guility, I have been showing my little host sis a few things, like an outside chest block and backfist. We rough house sometimes and I was getting tired of her swatting my hands away when a good block would do the trick much better, so I showed her a good block. She was excited to learn and it felt good to teach again.

Shopping is a universal thing

So I've just finished spending the remainder of this month's allowance. I really didn't plan on spending it all so fast, but when Okaasan mentioned that I have absolutely nothing I can wear in the Autumn (I thought any of my clothes would suffice), it kinda all went down the drain from there. But it went far! For being in a notoriously expensive place, I'm doing well. With close to $85, I bought ten letters worth of stamps, a really cute skirt, a dress marked down from $50, three pair of shoes (!!!), a long sleeved plainish shirt, a really cute jacket that would go for like $80 in the States (here too, only I got it at a second hand shop for like $4!), a pair of tights, a very Japanese style peachy shirt, a navy blue sweater, and a pair of really cute longish shorts. How's that for good. The bad thing is I can't show any of you guys :(. That's one of the best parts about shopping. But my Okaasan is properly happy for me. And yesterday when I got the cello (Woo!!!!), I said I was happy and she said she was too because she knew I was happy. Aww. I can't believe how sweet she is too me.

On another note, my shoes are all size LL and most of my clothes are size L. It's a nice change. I showed them a picture of me with all my friends and they were surprised that I wasn't the tallest one. Haha, I love it here.

A cello!!!

So today I'm getting a cello from a monk who is a professional cellist. Or maybe it's a professional cellist that plays for monks. Or maybe there are no monks involved and I have no idea what I'm talking about. I do like the cello, though I'm pretty terrible. Too bad. I think he wants me to play for it (it's his cello that he's lending me, as far as I understand). I hope it's not if you stink, no cello for you. It'll be good to have something familiar to do with all the time I have without resorting to my own language.

Languages are funny. I would like to study how they came to be. Who decided that verbs have to go at the end of the sentences? Who decided the Japanese need three different "alphabets" and a million different forms of every word?
I like learning Japanese a lot. It's fun and new and a little exciting. The best feeling is making myself understood with Japanese. It's especially cool when I can make complete sentences, instead of "Me tired now. Where sleep?". Hah, who would have ever thought it'd be me using caveman speech? I wouldn't have ever guessed it. Japan's doing funny things to me. It's messing up my spelling, for one. And it's making me think with an accent every so often. And words, which have always been my medium, are not mine any more. Sometimes they're there and sometimes they aren't (in either language), and I don't have that precision of words I so love. I can't meander or stroll or skip or anything. Just walk.

I sympathize with foriegners speaking (or not speaking) english in America. We're all just a bunch of two year-olds, aren't we?

Holiday!!

So, while my poor classmates have been spending weeks pouring over books and memorizing every fact presented to them, I have been running around Kyoto, tossing coins into bins and lighting inscence. It is now Test Week and they are all at this very moment racking their minds for answers to their monster Tests. I am goofing around on the internet, playing on my sister's piano, and decorating my trash with spit wads. I am obviously having a much more productive day then they are.

Because I'm not really in any real classes, my teacher told me I should just stay home this week and "study" on my own. So I've been "studying" what Japanese students do when they are home alone with boring trash and an empty piano. It's either that or read and I shouldn't start another book. Not unless it's in Japanese, which I unfortunately don't know. Studying Japanese all day long gets so tedious. In the States, I was such a model student. I did all my homework on time, studied rigorously for every test, hated missing school (well, that changed a little Senior Year), and read everything I could get my hands on. Now, I feel guilty reading in English, and studying gets boring and I have sooo much time. The change is pace is refreshing, but a little daunting.
In two weeks, I will start kendo. That will bring a little normalcy back; it's every day until seven. At home, I was just getting ready for adult class at seven. Or else teaching beginners' class. Now I'll be leaving school at seven. How wierd. Everything is wierd these days.

I'm so glad I'm here, but it seems that every single thing around me is different. I didn't even know that there could BE so many differences. I'm glad I'm not in Europe right now, like I thought I'd be. Or South America. Or West Virginia, for that matter.

I guess I ought to study. Or make more spit wads. Have a splendid day.

Buses and school uniforms

Okay, so it's my first night on the job. I'm fresh from the airport. Tired, but with enough adrenaline and excitement to keep me up for a week. I have been travelling for days (literally - gotta love those time zone transfers) and my clothes are sweaty and gross and, while I want to do is see the world, all I also want to do is sleep. I collapse on a chair and zone out while my host councelor babbles to his daughter. Finally he looks at me.
"Okay, take a bus," he says to me.
"Uhm, now?"
"Yes, now."
"A bus?"
"Yes, a bus."
"To where? By myself?"
"The house. Of course by yourself."
"A bus? To the house?"
"Yes, take a bus." I nearly burst into tears from fatigue. He wants me to take a bus! I'm so tired!
"Uhm, okay. I guess. A bus? To the house?"
"In the house."
"A bus in the house?! THat's awesome!"
"I'd better show you." And he takes me to the bath. A bath. The Japanese have a hard time pronouncing the "th" sound, I now know. Still, every time someone tells me to take a bus, I have to stop and think. Thankfully, I now know the word for "bath" in Japanese.

I got my winter uniform today. It includes a tie. Yeah, a tie. That's amazing. I don't even know how to tie a tie. My host mother was really surprised when I told her that. My uniform makes me look like Harry Potter. Seriously, except I'm like a girl.

I've been reading a lot since I got here. I have so much time and books are written in real english, with no confusion between busses and baths. I've read my first Robert Jordan book, "American Gods" and another book that I can't remember.

Dinner time. Dinner is huge, always. I can never eat as much as she cooks. I might marry Japanese food.

Really good and interesting questions I've been asked:

1.) Why do Americans have middle names?
2.) Why do American schools allow makeup, cell phones, and nail polish?
3.) Do teenagers really babysit little kids? By themselves? Do they need lisences?
4.) Why is West Virginia east? There can't be a West Virginia if there is no East Virginia and it's an eastern state.
5.) How do American mothers have jobs and take care of kids simultaniously?
6.) What is a Fraternity? Hahaha. I love answering that one.

That's all for now.

Week One of School: Complete

The most noteworthy thing about my life these days is how absolutely tired I get. It takes all of my mental energy and some to follow a conversation. And there are two different ways to listen to a conversation. There's the kind where you hear lots and lots of words and you wonder what in the world could possibly be being said and how anyone can possibly understand all that jibberish, and there's the kind where you listen really hard and try to pick out words you know and put a meaning to what you hear. I am guilty of favoring the first kind, as I am so tired that the idea of finding words I know is ridiculous. Who would think just listening to a conversation can wear a person out? And I have so much stamina. Not here I don't.

That's another thing. I feel like I've completely fooled the people here. They think I'm a really great student and really smart. They're super impressed that I knew hiragana and katakana before I came, but everyone does. In fact, at the airport, I knew the least amount of Japanese out of all four of us. They all know everything about me it seems. They totally talk about me to each other (the other day I realized they were discussing me right in front of me!) a lot, and if I tell one teacher something, it's silly of me to be surprised when a completely different teacher brings it up. Everyone knows how long I've been studying Japanese, what words I know and don't know, what I like to do in my spare time, how many siblings I have, whether or not my birds can talk, what time I like to poop, and my best friend's mother's sister-in-law's name. Okay, little exaggeration. But only a little. David, the english teacher from New York, told them he thinks I'm really smart and expects that I should have the langauge down in no time. How in the world did I impress him? No idea, but now all the teachers hold the same opinion. Great. I feel a little silly pretending I'm really that great, but hey, everyone likes. I can't complain.

And they ALWAYS watch me. Everyone. When I walk down the hall, everyone looks at me to see how I'm walking and whether or not I'm carrying my backpack on me and how my hair is up. Holy cow. Not a moment of rest! Teacher's greet me just to see what I will say back, there are always students smiling and waving and being super friendly, but it's just exhausting always saying "Ja" or whatever and smiling and waving back. Why is that so tiring? I don't know, but I definitely feel the pressure of being The Foreigner. It's better than if nobody liked me, but I'm so so so tired. It's a good thing the weekend is finally here, except I'm going out with Rotary tomorrow! It's going to be a long day.

I need a nap. Is it rude to take a nap in the middle of the day? Dunno.

Woooo! I did it!!

Guess what? Yeah, I made it all the way to school without having to retrace my steps or ask anyone for help! And I made it on time! Woo! You have no idea how proud I am of myself. I get lost every single time (except today) in this uber big station - Kyoto Station. And the signs are decieving. You can follow the signs just fine and you think you're doing great, and then, bam! They're gone and you're on your own. The only thing to do is turn around and try another fork and hope more reliable signs will magically appear any time. But I totally have it figured out now and can make it all the way there on time and by myself! Woooo!

In other news, it's been an entire month since my last karate class. That's 31 days. I think I might go insane. And my body is more desperate for karate now than it usually is. I use karate to sort all the crazy stuff out in my mind, and boy could I use that now.

Ohmygosh! Today I had my first calligraphy class. It was freaking amazing! The teacher gave me the name of my school ("Toba") to try and I totally bungled it up. But I'm not ashamed. It was my first try and I had absolutely no idea how to do it. He laughed and took it away. Instead, I pretty much spent the class practicing different kinds of strokes while everyone giggled at me. It was fun. At the end, we all bowed our heads and meditated for like a minute. Calligraphy is supposed to be a meditating activity! How amazing is that?!

Anyways, it's getting late (9:30 - if I was in America, I wouldn't have even gotten home from karate yet, much less started my homework, but here, I'm awefully tired really early) so I should go. It's great to be back online.

I]m here!!!

Hey all! I made it and finally have access to internet. I think I will regularly soon, but for now, I]m borrowing a computer from my teacher until the period is over. Today is my first *real* day of school, though you can see how real it is yourself. I]ve had an english class, a private class with a really nice teacher that wants to help me, another english class, gym, lunch, another private class, and now this, my study period. I do love being me. The Japanese people are incredibly nice and I am so super happy that I]m here. They all go way out of their way to help little old me, and even the students are really nice to me here. They all say *cute* whenever I pass and some of them asked me if they could touch my cheek or my hair. (??) Uhm, okay, I suppose. But they are nice. They like to speak english with me and enjoy hearing me pronounce things in Japanese. Oh yeah, I met some really great kids like myself from all over the world staying in Japan.

Anyways, I think the bell will ring soon (the bell is amazing, sounds like a catholic church almost) so I should go. Maybe I]ll be able to tell you more later. See you guys and wish me luck getting myself home!